Updated: Nov 26, 2020
Why am I tired all the time?
Why am I often so exhausted and overwhelmed?
Where did all my energy go?
Do you find yourself asking yourself these questions now more than ever?
Trust me you are not the only one! Why?
The answer is pretty simple.
Most of us live our daily lives in a reactive state.
We wake up every morning instantly responding to our environment. Whether that consists of automatically checking our phones, getting back to messages, emails and social media. We end up consuming so much unnecessary information. We open our eyes and instantly respond to someone else’s requests and needs.
This is usually followed by the rush of completing our growing list of responsibilities and duties. Each day becomes an act of us tackling daily demands and expectations- putting out fire after fire.
This is something I struggled with. And I was not the only one.
It has become the norm for people to feel exhausted daily, constantly on the go and scrambling to catch up. This is a vicious cycle we fall into that continues to sustain itself until it becomes a mental pattern that runs automatically the second we wake up. The pattern of instantly reacting to our environment and forgetting all about ourselves and our needs.
This then leads us down a spiral of self-neglect, stress, negative self-talk, burnout and suffering with multiple health concerns. So how do we step out of this cycle and do things differently?
By breaking this vicious cycle with a simple but challenging step…
Applying REAL Self-Care
Self-Care has become the new buzz word nowadays. Am I right?
But let me be honest. I used to think that self-care was the occasional “spa” day or treating myself to a gift. Many of us believed this too. But self-care is not about indulgent or pleasure. It is much deeper than that. Self-care is taking the necessary action needed to honour our emotional, spiritual and physical needs.
It is about setting and maintaining boundaries. It is about exercising self-discipline, eating the right foods, getting enough sleep and having regular health checks. Self-care is about giving yourself compassion on days you feel like you need it the least.
Self-care is sometimes about taking the harder or more “uncomfortable” steps that you know you need for your well-being.
So here are 5 secrets to self-care:
1. Set a deliberate intention each morning
The power of deliberate intention setting is life-changing.
Do you decide what tone or feeling you want for your day when you wake up?
Most of us don’t. We end up allowing external circumstances to dictate how we will be feeling that day.
“If there is no traffic…then I’ll have a good day”
“If my boss calls in sick today…then I’ll have a great day”
“But if it rains…then I’ll have a bad day”
Any sound familiar?
This is us giving away our power.
Instead, decide that you will have a good day. That you will CHOOSE to favour peace throughout your day no matter what.
Now, I understand that there will be circumstances, changes or events that might happen throughout the day that may cause stress or upset you. You may not control what happens TO you but you CAN always control how you react or respond to it. Now that is your power.
2. Pay attention to where your energy goes
We often put energy into a variety of unnecessary activities that drain us, whether its people-pleasing, drama or social media. We all have limits. Whether it is physically or emotionally. Yet we often ignore those cues which then leads us towards depletion and burn out.
Start by bringing awareness to what drains you the most. Say NO to things you know take away too much of your energy and can be avoidable. This could be as simple as unfollowing certain social media accounts that make you feel negative and drained.
3. Prioritise time for YOU
For most, the idea of adding self-care into our daily routine can be seen as inconvenient. We come up with defenses like “I just don’t have the time” or “I already have so much going on”.
Start by being honest with the changes you need to make. Repeatedly neglecting your own needs, living your days in reactivity and putting the needs of others before your own will ultimately create more stress, negativity and burn out. Wouldn’t it be better if we just checked in with ourselves first to avoid this?
Make this time for you a non-negotiable.
4. Believe that you deserve it
This may sound like a simple thing…yet it can be the most challenging. Many of us may have deeply rooted beliefs of not feeling worthy enough to give ourselves the attention, love and compassion we need. We are not taught the importance of it whilst growing up. But the truth is, you can’t give what you don’t have.
5. Be consistent
Practicing real self-care will need self-discipline, commitment and might require you to take uncomfortable steps. But to see real results you must be consistent. In time, honouring your needs will not only elevate the relationship you have with yourself but enhance the relationships with those around you. You will find that overall you are much more joyous, connected and happier with so much more to give to those around you.
Sounds amazing right?
We often wait until things get too much for us to make the changes necessary. How about we start making those changes now instead?
Transform your mornings towards real self-care and tap into your best self daily!
Need help getting started?
Download this FREE Self Care Planner to help you easily incorporate real self-care into your daily routine, set intentions and change your life TODAY.
Yasmen Ahmed is a UK qualified CBT Therapist & Clinical Hypnotherapist. She is the founder of Inspire With Yas; a heart-centered online platform for souls seeking more. She believes everyone deserves emotional wellness, inner peace, and light in their spirits. Her purpose is to inspire individuals to rekindle their light within a world that can feel disconnected and dim. She is a self-care advocate and takes an integrated approach to well-being supporting individuals towards becoming their best selves.